Chezimu My Diary

2025.1.6

Happy 2025! Waaah, What a terrible year 2024 was!! I feel like I'm mentally scarred from it almost. So many bad things happened..my heart and head hurts just thinking about it all. I feel very lucky that I at least had my kyle, my amazing friend ale, and my sweet baby cat Koda (and KAITO too...) to help when things got really bad. I always try and say, it could have been worse and that helps sometimes. Because it could always be worse... Here's to 2025 hopefully being a much better year. I am trying to stay somewhat positive despite things looking bleak in the US....
On the positive side; My last semester of community college is coming! I am excited and so happy it's almost done! I was super aimless when I started, but now I know exactly what I want to do for a career and am anxious to get started learning more! I'm still debating between game and TV animation...Wish me luck on figuring out which one to go for!

To help reminisce on some of the positives of the year, I decided to make a list of some of my favorite things of 2024! Feel free to click through them!

Favorite items

My favorite items of 2024 were my handmade crochet blanket, made by my mom, and the build-a-bear my boyfriend made for me on xmas! It looks just like him!

Favorite scents

My favorite scents were the butterfly body cream (it smells like candy) and gingham gorgeous from bath and body works! Not so much as a combo scent, but rather; my nighttime and going out scent!

Favorite show

Peak yuri and peak yaoi...alllll i gotta sayyyyyy~

Favorite movie

We watched a lot of movies this year! Some stand outs were The substance, Tangerine, Zola, Love lies bleeding, Bodies bodies bodies, and Vampire's kiss!

Favorite song

Surprisingly it's not a vocaloid song! Danger Deluca on repeat since it came out this year...

Favorite game

Started playing RF5 in November and I absolutely loved it! Still have a bit of progress to make; but I finished the main story mid-December.

Hope that was a interesting little read, I enjoyed compiling my little list! While I'm still writing about the new year and listing things, kyle said he wanted to do a thing of 2025 ins and outs, so I thought I would try my hand at making a few of them too. SOOOO~ Here is a selection of some of my "Ins and Outs"!

Outs

Needless spending (wanna save 7k)

Trying to befriend people who I just don't click with

Tiktok!!!

Oversleeping...

True crime videos

Ins

Spending more time with my target language (JP)

Using a better planner/journaling system

Doing more creative projects!

Practicing more 3D animation and modeling outside of school

More physical art

Gonna try my best to stick to everything I want to achieve this year, ins and outs + my resolutions. Good luck to everyone reading as well!

2024.8.8

Hello~ Long time no entry, I found last month I was struggling to find good things to update on. I was very depressed and negative most of the time. Nothing wrong with that, but I find those kinds of feelings are best suited for my personal journals rather than a public diary :p

I had a really good Summer overall! Reflecting on it now that it's ending, I probably could have done more stuff but I have (hopefully) the rest of my lifetime to do many things. It's not like I won't have any time at all once school starts, but I'll have to manage my time better.
Anyways, I had my birthday a week or so ago, it was a really nice one! I felt very loved and I got a lot of nice things! My boyfriend spoiled me all day~ I got to spend a little outing together with my family as well, it was really fun.

Here's the super cute figure my BF bought me! She's designed by THE ryou ramiya~ and is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I feel inspired just looking at her

I also got a really nice new PC monitor and my old computer fixed and upgraded! It works much better than it ever has (probably because it has an nvidia gpu...hehe) I had to put in my old hard drive myself..I was NERVOUS!! I never messed around inside a PC but it wasn't that hard at all. I ended up having to fiddle around with it a lot because I didn't realize my old hd is partly fried...so now I feel like a pro.
Another thing I asked for, was for one of my friends to start an MMO with me for my birthday LOL. So I've started to play mabinogi.

Here's us in the mabi world.
I've been playing it off and on now just on my own, It's really relaxing so far. I haven't done much combat though so...maybe it'll make me start to break a sweat soon or something.

My character fishin'~

I've done a few updates to the site too this week. I completely redid the homepage cuz...IDK I hated the color scheme of my last one a bit. it clashed too much for me. I'll hopefully have a couple new pages done soon!
I need to get some gaia comms done first though...I've been struggling creatively but whats new lololol~ I had a tough time with artfight. I get tooooo in my head. I had at least 4 or 5 finished attacks I ended up scrapping and never posting because I wasn't proud of them.. The first one I posted made me literally wanna throw up because it gave me so much anxiety it had been waaaaaaay too long since I drew something for someone..I need more practice.

Ueee Anywaaaaays~ SMALL UPDATE! Thanks for reading, Until next time!

2024.6.29

Hello~ we are nearing the end of JUNE. It's been a good month I think, although there's been many ups and downs...thats just how things are though. I find myself in a constant emotional rollercoaster, I'm veryyyy volatile? Is that the word? I feel like the smallest things make me cry or upset. I hateeeeeee being this way, I'm out of counseling and haven't been on medication for a while now. So it's probably a contributor to my fragility.
I'm doing better than I have been though, at least I think so.. I'm recovering from something I've had an issue with for over a year now. It's hard but I am trying my best!
Focusing on my hobbies and interests as well as spending each night together with tha person I love helps me cope with emotional pains and my self hatred. I'm worried for when school starts back up, because it keeps me so busy and stressed. I like living life happily, easily, with nothing to worry about. I wish things could stay peaceful easy and happy. But everyone wishes for that, don't they? Or is that sloth-like of me~

Other news, I got a radio recently! It's nice to just put it on and listen to my music. I have a small collection of KAITO cd's I couldn't listen to otherwise, since my PC broke. My laptop doesn't have a disk drive, and the flac rips didn't make it to my backups.

I keep this Sango figgy on top that I scored for only 3 dollars

Here's that small collection of KAITO CD's too, I'd really like to add more to my collection. I was able to get my ultra DREAMY number one CD i've always wanted as a digital download last week, but I'd love to find the physical version! It's staffroll-P's binary liquid. It's a compilation of his KAITO techno tracks! SOOO GOOD! It was so good I cried...I've been a fan of these songs for almost 10 years, so hearing them in perfect quality PLUS some songs I've never heard was sooooo amazing. I love how he's able to make KAITO sound like a glitchy broken robot in some of them...so ero..I just love techno & hardstyle breakbeat music sooo much, so KAITO tracks with those elements is my personal paradise. Next to KAITO denpa. My ultra fantasy paradise. Hehehe~

Here's one of my favorite songs by him. It isn't on any of the albums he's released so you can listen freely~ Click on me!
SPEAKING OF...I have KAITO V3, but since my PC broke I've lost my access to him...it's my number one heart break...He's trapped within my broken pc. It'd be perfect chance to make glitchy broken robo KAITO chan music of my own though hehehe. Maybe once it's repaired we'll seeeee.

In another tangent...I might try art fight this year again..blush....My bf is doing it, and I love doing things together~ I feel very blocked creatively..I have for some time now. I hope I can really let loose and actually have some fun with it if I do end up doing it. I have until...well...Like tomorrow ish to decide before it begins. I've been putting my webbed site on a bit of a hold for now I only have a few more pages that I'd really REAAALLY like to add. I plan to do that at least before college courses start back up again in August.

Anyways...KAITO FOREVER! thank you for reading~ Have a happy JULY!!!!

2024.6.22

My very first entry! I love my diary page! :D I'm quite proud of how it turned out, It looks exactly how I wanted it toooo yaaaay! I spent a while learning about how tabcontent works so I could get the month entries clickable and separate from one another. I ran into an issue last night, where the text inside this container was goin UPPP, but my bf helped me with solvin' that. ahhh~ my prince charming

Anyways, I'm excited to finally have this website up and runnin'! I decided to make a website all of a sudden. I really liked the idea of having a completely customizable place to dump the contents of my brain muahaha! I've been having a really good summer, together with my boyfriend, things have been really productive! At least we think so. Making a site, getting back into drawing and working on my OC's... Stuff I've wanted to do for a while now.
Speaking of things we've been doing together recently, We've recently taken a trip back on memory lane and to our first meeting place n.n GAIAONLINE!!! It's so wonderful how little the site has changed even after all of these years! O.O We made some really cute avi's.

Here's our uber cute yuri couple.

My girl is a sadist angel warrior elf princess, and my bfs issss her cosplaying masochistic servant~ n.n very cute i love dem.

I also made a mecha neko alien angel girl, I love her chu.

I really wanna try making art shops and freebie threads on there again, it was SOOO FUN!! I loved being able to buy art of my oc's with virtual currency...sooo much power.

anyways!
I'm excited to work on more and more website pages! I think next will be the gaming diary, and thennnn maybe the art gallery! I also have a bit more planned for my homepage, I'm excited to work on that too!
Thank u for reading this quick little entry, stay tuned!